We practice and teach a view that debate / argument is not necessarily bad, but it still puts the conversation in a mode of “whose view will win?” In that mode, people’s identity is associated with their point of view.

Once people encounter differences, they are at a fork in the road. On one side is the road to debate, on the other is the road to generative conversation. The key to moving the conversation deeper is to find ways to invite people to get curious. “Oh! There’s more than one way to see this. That’s a data point, that’s interesting. Let’s see if we can learn what’s under this.” Now we’re having a creative conversation.

This uses different terminology than I’m used to, but it’s something we assign students as part of a set of readings on dialogue theory 101.

Edgar Schein, “The process of dialogue: creating effective communication.” Systems Thinker